Yesterday was Father’s Day. I am not sure if you wanted to hear from me or not because you have not been returning my calls. I could get upset but I choose not to this time because just maybe you are battling with your own darkness. Whether you know it or not, you are a vital part of my life. God used you to get me here to this place we call Earth.  Your D.N.A. is apart of my being so I carry you wherever I go.

I have been so hurt and wounded by your absence. All I have ever wanted is to be daddy’s little girl. I understand that we don’t always get what we desire but life does not stop there. Life goes on if we allow ourselves not to get stuck. For so long I have lived in that pain which caused me to become so numb. I didn’t want to feel again dad because the pain cut me so deep. I have always questioned what did I do wrong or why didn’t you want me? I don’t judge you but just want answers.

I tried to find that love that I was longing for and found love in all the wrong places. I needed you. I needed your love to cover me, comfort me, and protect me. I was lost for so long and still battle with the little girl inside that has not yet bloomed. The pain of rejection has caused me to live a life of isolation and to live on an island. God did not call us to live on an island but to be connected to family and community. We were not made to live life alone but I was not alone. I just couldn’t see what was in front of me.

I know you are battling with your demons. Most of us have them. They are passed down from generation to generation. But when will we have the courage and not allow them to pass down our lineage anymore. It’s time for someone to be brave and change the course of their family for the better. It is okay dad to ask for help and reach out to professionals who can point you in the right direction. You matter to God and me. Time is ticking for all us but how will we utilize that time.

I am not mad or angry at you anymore dad. Matter of fact, I love you! I have never stopped loving you. I forgive you. God forgives you. Dad, you still have breath meaning God’s plan for your life is not over. I don’t know what is ahead for our relationship but I will continue to pray for you. I pray God will heal the broken pieces of your life and heal the  wounds on your soul. I will keep the beautiful memories that we have shared over the years forever  in my heart. Even if I never get answers, I rest in knowing you are my dad and I love you.

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